THE QUIET
Well Deserved
I had a wonderful mother-in-law. She was kind and generous to everyone.
A few years into our marriage, I began to notice that Suzanne (may she rest in peace) became more hesitant when asked to join a fundraising group or attend a luncheon. She didn’t seem eager to go to lunch with me either, I could tell, but she’d go occasionally, at my father-in-law’s prompting or my insistence.
Even Canasta, a game she’d played forever, fell by the wayside.
Suzanne became content to stay home and putter, read the latest fiction, and tend to her cat and dog.
In my 30s, 40s, and 50s, I had bundles of energy. I was constantly moving, joining multiple organizations, attending every luncheon, and volunteering at Josh’s school and our Temple. I was never home except to cook dinner and sleep.
Meanwhile, Suzanne seemed to be pulling inward. I’d often comment to Steve about her lack of 'participation in the outside world’, for lack of a better term.
Youth is not wasted on the young! There’s a reason I had all that energy, and now I am beginning to understand Suzanne a little better.
I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the smaller my world becomes by choice.
The year Joshua went off to college, I triumphantly proclaimed to Steve, “I’m not cooking dinner ever again”. Now that I wasn’t feeding a man-boy, we could eat the good stuff.
It felt so good to say that, even if it didn’t last. I kept my home-based business going, and we went out with friends.
In my mid-60’s I suddenly decided to step down from every organization I belonged to. I needed a time-out. I needed to slow down, simplify, and find some calm.
We seldom went out with frie,nds, and honestly, that was okay for both of us. I was tired. I wanted to be at home. I wanted to be in my home, enjoying my home. And playing with my dog and cats. Sound familiar?
“My people” circle is small now. A group of girlfriends and I have had weekly lunches since our children were small, about 30 years now. The women I work with? They’re smart, fun, and offer me perspective. This is what I need now.
These days, my world looks a lot like Suzanne’s once did.
Do you find yourself staring out a window sometimes? Do you procrastinate more?
I’m lazy (not at work!). I turn down lots of invitations. My phone doesn’t ring after 6 p.m. (Thank you, friends.)
I understand. I understand the calm and peace Suzanne found. I understand the why.